Moving further

After introducing workbooks which were more child friendly in the classrooms I have a clearer idea about the skill level of children. Using that information and continuing classes in assembly hall I was able to kick start multi-graded teaching style. Which essentially means that I divided class into groups and gave them different tasks. It worked out well in the way that I could finally spend time with those kids with whom I would otherwise not interact at all. They are those kids who are quite low on skills in the language and hence very low on confidence and as a result never speak in the class. I have to make them speak and try out as much as they can, so that they start to participate actively in listening and reading activities also.  For this I need to concentrate on them more than those who are quite ahead in terms of the skills. Not managing it well yet, but I have only just begin. Multi-grade teaching will take lot of time to function nicely in the classroom. And for it to work I need to know kids more and more.

I was also able to pair up kids to help each other in reading and understanding the text. They also became quite enthusiastic about it. But I would have to see how they interact when they work in pairs. Otherwise it wont be such a fruitful exercise.

:(

I m just feeling totally lost and depressed. Everything is going to pieces. My class is such a varied class that I m unable to design activities or lecture plans which would cater to them all. Even if I could design the plans, there is additional tension of wasting resources – papers/photocopies/etc etc. There is almost no resource for teachers. And there is nobody to talk about this either. I just want to quit it all and get lost somewhere. I don’t know what else to do.

Confrontation with a kid

A child in my class never speaks. I teach children varying between ages 11-13/14. This boy would probably be 12 or 13 yrs old. He never speaks. So in my speaking activity I asked him to speak. He simply refused. From my earlier experience, I had learnt to push the kids to initiate. Later, they pick it up themselves. So I pushed him a bit too hard. Actually, I am also struggling a lot in every class. I need to relax myself a bit – this is what I learnt from this confrontation. Anyways, the kid was simply denying my command (it was like an order). I grew angry but thankfully another child came to rescue and diverted my attention.

I later talked to the boy after the class. Well, he still wouldn’t talk. So, I took him to stairs and we sat and I told him I am not moving unless he speaks to me. Finally he spoke. He said: mujhe english nahi aati. And he started crying!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was shit scared. Why the hell was he crying? I pretended not to see his tears or show my fear. I spoke to him gently about learning curves and that no one in the class speaks correctly and that it doesn’t matter at this stage. Hearing this, first I apologised for being a dictator in class. When I asked him whether he wants to learn English, he said yes. So I said, thats all that is required. We can work together, lets think of ways to help each other, etc etc bullshit. I apologised once again and clarified why I behaved like that (my earlier experience with kids). He was quite calmed when I left.

Nonetheless I felt really very bad. Its frightening to be in a position in which I am. A teacher has too much power. I just don’t like it that way. I just don’t want to make more kids cry. or even make them happy. or good in english. I just want to help them or guide them if they need any help. In any other case, I want to be out of the picture.

Really I do.

Games teachers want to play

So after going through a hell of classes, when I couldn’t help falling asleep myself, I tried finding out the alternatives. An idea clicked! I found out about a room, built for teachers’ meetings and assembly purposes, which could be used for my classes. This room is also used for music classes, whenever kids choose not to go to boring music room. BTW music is neither sung or listened, it is also read and learnt in the school I teach in.

So I ran about in the school, got permissions and keys, and lo n behold, I got so much space for my classes! Without blackboard! Which is good and bad at the same time. The day I asked the kids to come to assembly room, I had also got them magazines and story books in English to initiate classroom library. Luckily, the chapter/story we were to read that day comprised of dialogues between different actors and narration in between. Shifting to the assembly room worked magically. The kids would read their lines (who volunteered to take up a role) and whenever a new character would arise I would just need to make eye contact and the interested kid would start speaking the respective line. It worked like charm and I could see that children loved to work that way. In one section, this was the scene, while in another section it couldn’t work so well coz of reasons I would write about later. Next day we had to read the continuation chapter, but that day kids were looking not so excited. I couldn’t understand why such change! One reason could be, I went out for 3 days and some other teacher took their periods so they might have to shift their learning styles according to the different teaching styles. But, overall the assembly hall idea is a lifesaver. Only I would probably need a soft board soon.

Now, after teaching 4 chapters and going through the back exercises I was thoroughly disgusted with the textbook. I told myself, its my moral obligation to teach English, not to complete the fucked up books! And working in the resource centre helped me in taking this decision. I know “who” writes the books. I know how “screwed up” the method of writing textbooks is. I know I can anytime do a better job at material development. And thankfully, at this time in my life, I am NOT answerable to anyone but myself. That gives me a lot of confidence, power and responsibility. So textbooks are out.

Enters: Speaking activities. Time spent on googling earlier would come in use now. I have enough ideas of games and conversation games I can do in class.

Game 1: It was a beautiful day outside. And I was prepared for just the game. It was an introduction game played in form of “catch”. You play catch with a ball and then shift to the game (read: real game). When you get the ball, you introduce yourself: name, where you live, your interests. Or: you introduce yourself and the person who threw ball to you – this is …., I am…. . Well, I managed to get the ball at the last moment and got every kid out in the ground. After 2 minutes of warming up, I started the former kind of game. What happened then – well! what do ya think! children simply refused to play the game. They said we can’t speak anything in English. When I tried shifting to the latter kind of game, they still refused. I felt so let down. I couldn’t let them just play the game of catch because I knew there were some teachers who were monitoring my class (atleast the one I borrowed the ball from) and I couldn’t bring them all in the game either! A few among them agreed to play though, and the rest of the class dispersed here and there. With those 10-12 kids I could take the game to a higher level (discuss family, likings in the same fashion). Nonetheless, I was aware of how miserably I failed at introducing the game. Kids just don’t want to even attempt in speaking in english, no matter how many times I shout “speaking incorrectly is absolutely fine”.

I tried the same game with the second section (I had no choice, the two sections have classes one after another – if I have a class in field in one section I have to have that in second section too!). This time I let them play the game for a longer while. And then introduced the lower version of introduction game. It wasn’t so bad this time. And just as it was becoming boring, a teacher (who was observing all this) came to my rescue. She offered to help and introduced another game called – dodge ball. In this game, a group of kids form the outer circle and have to hit the kids, trapped inside the circle. Whoever gets hit has to come and become a part of outer circle. It turned out children liked playing this more. I saw my chance and slipped in my english-speaking activity. Whosoever gets hit has to say his/her name, name of the child who hit him/her in 2-3 lines. It worked very well and kids loved it. I was grateful to the teacher who came to my help!

For the next classes, I had designed activity where we talk about different occupations. I got the idea from this link. I prepared charts, got occupation cards and was quite enthusiastic about the whole thing. Well, it turned out I was to be again disappointed! Kids were just not interested in speaking out the dialogues. Finally, I became a Hitler and forced a few kids to speak with me. It helped a little. Only later I realized kids are not interested because they don’t understand what they have to do clearly. And a few others are just not interested in any classroom activity. Which is totally understandable – only that makes my job so much more difficult. That reminds me of another activity I wanted to do in class. I had planned to make a toy kind of thing (letter balance – which could be used to weigh letters). This was in relevance with a chapter from reader. I distributed the page of instructions – how to make the letter balance. Almost 95% of the class returned me the paper! They were not interested in making anything. It hit me hard. All the theories on how hands-on experience, working with hands is interesting and more relevant got dismissed in a sigh!

The idea is we all are full of ideas for activities and games. The real skills are required in implementation. The real skill lies in the act of introducing and conducting that activity in the classroom. The real creativity exists in re-shaping the activity. Hence, a teacher trainer who simply gives ideas – doesn’t even know what s/he is talking about!

Palpable Issues

Last two days I had terrible classes. I could not help but fall back to traditional style of teaching. Lets explore this statement first. What is exactly meant by traditional teaching style?

Keeping English Second Language teaching in mind, the techniques and practices of teaching and learning usually differentiate in traditional and progressive styles, in the following manner:

An answer to a question from a chapter in english reader as given by a child:

Why did Rajesh put his hand in the hole?

Rajesh put his hand in the hole because out of curiosity. (He is taking the phrase “out of curiosity” directly from the book)

Now, one way of dealing with such an error would be to correct it in his copy and give him the correct sentence. As a result, for the examination he would memorise the correct sentence which mam gave him. (Assessment patterns are another aspect falling into traditional and progressive methods) Another way could be to give him a comprehension passage which has statements like: Out of curiosity he opened the box. Ravi was a curious boy, he peeped into the dark room. It was Shahshi’s interest to know the secret which made him open the magical wardrobe. This way the child will be exposed to different kinds of sentences which uses the same word (and its different forms and synonyms). More and more of such exposure with writing and speaking practice will ensure that child automatically picks the difference between “curiosity” and “curious”. After s/he has started picking it up, one can introduce the grammar and the difference between a noun and an adjective. The latter strategy would fall under progressive style. One can see hows there is a subtle difference in this case.

To do such an exercise with 30 kids in 1 class is a huge task. One needs to know what the child is thinking, how the child is reacting to your thoughts and to other kids. One needs to deal with kids with wide range is skills. In one of the two classes I teach, this range is so wide that 6-7 kids are always responding, 9-10 are never ever responding and rest of the class is somewhere in middle. To strike a balance one needs to do exercises like group activities, pairing up kids, sitting leisurly in classroom, comfortable with your physical space, talking and speaking up your mind, talking to other kids and discussing, etc etc. Otherwise, its simply impossible to bring in those 9-10 kids who have switched off in your class.

Last two days, it was as if I am being locked up in a room with a textbook in hand and someone was beating me up. My issues were:

• I had to teach in the class which is ill designed for progressive teaching. The tables and seat are attached to each other on which 3-4 kids sit together. They can’t be re-adjusted in every period without wasting 20 minutes of 30 minutes period. The children were visibly constrained in that physical space. No one could be comfortable in such a physical setting. I remember I had issues when I had to sit diagonally opposite to my boss in office. Children in such a setting are in constant struggle to play hide and seek with teacher. And so is the teacher!
• There was acute lack of resources which I needed. Neither the library at the so called “resource centre” had the books I had, not the out-dated ill-equipped library in school had anything I could use. I needed to have a look at techniques and methods I could use to group children, to be able to bring in those 9-10 kids and the rest of the class in co-operative learning. The immense research in education gives colossal amount of gyan on what should be done, but fails on the “how” part of doing things. (This statement is for the education resource centre in the institute I work in) I did a lot of googling and finding stuff on net, and managed to get some good ideas on techniques and strategies. But I still have to learn a hell lot about understanding kids.
• I had the compulsion to still to a textbook. Oh, how I hate that textbook! How can a teacher be asked to teach a book she hates herself??!! The other teachers, I am sorry to say, wouldn’t have even bothered to weigh their own feelings about the book/chapters. That is just because they are coming out of a system in which teachers and kids blindly follow the textbook, kill their feelings and desires, only struggle to complete the book and pass the exams. Tell me anyone, in such a case, does lecturing such teachers, who are in such a system from past 20-25 yrs, make any sense? But that is exactly what our teacher trainings do! And people still believe in them!
• I spent some quality time in staff room these 2 days. I think it should be compulsory for any teacher trainer to spend some lot of time in staff rooms. It is a great learning avenue. Listen to this topic of conversation:

I started listening when I heard this stmt -

T1: hum itni mehnat karte hein as teachers, par aajkal bachchon ko na kuch kadr hai aur na hi woh kuch mehnat karte hein.

T2: bachche sirf padhne likhne nahi aate hein, padhai to hoti hi hai, lekin zaroori hai achche sanskaar aana, achche gud seekhna. jab chhote hote hein to bachche namaste bolte hein, wish karte hein, paun bhi chhute hein, per exam hua aur teacher gayi to bas pass se nikal jaate hein. kuch bhi nahi karte.

T1: humhein bachchon ko yeh bhi sikhana chahiye ki woh apne sanskaar na bholein.

T3: UP mein to namaste etc nahi hota. seedhe paer hi chhute hein bacche.

T4: aajkal to naya fashion aaya hai, jab sirf ghutno tak jhuk ker paer choona ho jata hai. sahi mein to paer ke angoothe ko choona hota hai.

T5: haan kehte hein ki paer ke angoothe ke nakhoon ke ander buddhi hoti hai. isliye woh choone pe hi buddhi milti hai.

T2: haan kai mahatma baba log isliye hi aapne paer nahi choone dete hein.

T1: haan door se hi unko namaste karna hota hai, but apne paer nahi choone dete. kyonki woh apni buddhi nahi dena chahte.

Me: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

With such a folk pedagogy they carry with themselves, we lecture teachers about progressive teaching styles which is based on ideas of freedom, equality (even between teachers n kids) and hence respect is not something which can be taught or bought – it is only earned.

World is filled of fake.

Back to School

I went back to school yesterday and was thrilled to have kids welcoming me back. Some old class kids took me to their classes to show me what work they did in summer hols of which they were particulary proud of. And few kids from the classes i am continuing to teach were visibly happy to have me back. They said they didn’t like the new teacher (substitute for me) and were afraid of him. From this I drew that they are atleast not much afraid of me. First milestone achieved.

Now the two classes are good in strength – more or less 30 in each class with plenty of new kids all set in to show off their knowledge and gain their prestige. Its not as much of an issue to draw in their involvement in subject and class, but how to make them “listen”! In fact, if once in a while i ask them to keep quiet they do that too, and listen to me, but they simply don’t listen at all to their class mates! The competitive attitude does fail them to gain a wholistic perspective. This is what I saw not happening in Rishi Valley. Children would not only listen to their classmates, they would even understand each other quicker and better.

Anyways, I guess I can take up schooling as a fulltime profession for sometime. And I have to, if I want to remain in Education line. Lets see.

First few days

I would now have to write many days diary in a single entry, which is not a very good thing to do, but what can’t be helped now. I have now interacted with the kids in my class for long enough period to develop a sort of attachment towards them. For the next academic session, I want to have these two classes with me, but since they would be in eighth standard, which has state board exams in Rajasthan. It would be impossible for me to deter from the traditional style of teaching to a larger extent in that standard, so I am thinking not to teach any of these classes. And hence, I am sad. I know most of them, have talked to them informally, especially the baddies. I know who among them is better batsman or bowler, or who plays computer games or watch Pogo. I know more or less, at what skill base in English they are.

It was damn difficult finding all this out. First of all, if I don’t shout in class or show anger, it is difficult to catch their attention. Obviously, even when I do it by shouting or by threatening them, I don’t succeed in getting their attention. I only stop them from having fun. But that allows me to teach other kids or talk to the rest of the class which is paying me attention. But sometimes I failed. Coz I hate to shout. And these kids are not used to shouting, they are used to harsher language or beating. Hence, any softer methods fail. So what to do? Well, simply put, learn class management by reading and practising, and of course by taking deep breathes!

Overall, I am happy that I don’t threaten them. I am also glad that they don’t fear too much to open up to me. In fact all of them greet me in a very informal way, not traditional “good morning mam” – which btw, also I hate. Most of all, these kids teach me how to be patient big time. Even at times when I lose my temper, unlike adults they don’t get bugged up by my reaction. They simply ignore me. Maybe coz that is what they have learnt while dealing with adults. “You leave them alone when they angry.” Quite awesome. But it doesn’t work with younger kids. I know how hurt Arnav gets when one gets angry with him. I guess over the time he would also learn the art of ignoring.

My experience in classroom would have been quite different had I not joined in the month of march. Exam pressure was on me once again. I obviously tried not get sucked into it, but when your kids are, you can’t but join them. I couldn’t do interesting activities with them because I was involved in “getting the course done”! Actually in preparing them for the scoring questions like application writing. And undoubtedly, application was the one question in which maximum children scored. The one question which was memory based in the examination paper I had set for them! But on the basis of other questions, I could do some sort of crude analysis on what their stand is. Though as of now I am on the steep learning curve myself. There are a zillion books/articles which talk about language acquisition, almost all linguists of the world have talked and wrote on it, while only a very few people have actually mentioned the different skill sets and different comprehension levels of the children in language. When you go out to find activities and skills linked with them, or books on analysis of writing/reading/speaking skills to find out how much the child is able to do or where s/he needs further help – zilch! No material tells you that. Research in education rests on the pillar on self-thinking and finding. It expects every teacher to go through all the acquisition papers and then try out 100 activities in her class before being able to become an able teacher. In a country, where every school, every teacher, every child has a copy of “guide”, “kunji”, “key”, I get a cynicism attack towards the bloody researchers. The gap between theory and practice never ever seems to diminishes, and further grow with every new research!!

Apart from this, I have to interact with teachers who are cosy in their working style. Armed with several excuses: children are not taught in junior classes, bad background – illiterate parents, the state board, the government regulations, the inspection checkings, the whole world against them! they don’t have to change their style. Also, I can’t blame them. To be very honest, when I put myself in their shoes I find myself to be behaving exactly as they are. Never seen enough of anything, always worked in a culture where teaching style is memory based, and never really getting a chance to grow myself as an individual, how the hell would I be supposed to grow the children infront of me to grow up as thinking self-sufficient individuals. Only a mahatma (not even he! – he belonged to the upper upper class) might be able to fulfill that moral obligation. And yet, every bloody (I love this work – much better than “fucking”) educational consultant or who thinks s/he has answer to everything, curses teachers.

Teaching “profession” employs maximum skilled human resource in this country. Teaching is the one profession where no one has defined the work processes. No one knows what is “good teaching”. A person comes to class, teaches the entire time, beats the hell out of children – he is also a good teacher, according to some. A person who doesn’t teach but doesn’t hit kids – he can also be a good teacher, accoring to other some. A person who teaches and teachers well enough to scare kids of english and math for the rest of their lives is also a good teacher. Some people object to the phase “rest of their lives”. I would differ from them vehemently. I meet middle age people who are still damn scared of math. And English. So good/bad doesn’t really exist in this sector. What exists though is, the word “attitude”. A good teacher is the one who has an open attitude, who loves kids, who is sincere. But even if he still doesn’t know his/her subject, thats excuseable. Coz ofcourse, you can’t control everything. A child’s schooling is not as important as his life, and hence a doctor’s role and a teacher’s role would also be miles apart. And we all have come from this corrupt education system and still turned out quite well. So probably those who crib so much about all this are more or less finding different means of gaining attention. Like most of the activists. Its like saying people on the street are there coz they don’t know about family planning. They themselves don’t want to do anything, they are just lazy people eating our tax money. Well… after that I am quite speechless…

I guess there is lot of bitterness in my words. I just can’t help it. I have always lived in such a beautiful comfortable world, that every day is a hard struggle for me, every night I wish to wake up in a different world next day. There is lot of bitterness in this world, not just my words.

 

 

Updates

I have been meaning to update my diary entries, but everyday I write a line and not more than that. And everyday the same starting line! The days are getting hectic, the work increasing, the lifestyle getting regulated. Btw, I have been climbing a hill top, 1 km up from past 2 days. As a result, today I am gonna treat myself, skip the climb n eat pyaaz ki kachori… hehe…

Also I made the final examination paper for english for 7th class today. It was real fun coz I was trying to make it interesting. One usual question is on story writing, which means children memorize a story and write it in the exam. As in you know which story would be asked so you mug up 2-3 of them. I have changed the question now, I am giving them a picture story. That is, there would be 3-4 sequential pictures which depict a story and there would be a fill-in-the-blanks or write your own story option for them. Hope they like it!

First day – punishment

The first day when I had started interacting with kids, they were all very vocal. These were 7th class kids, who are usually taught in a non-interactive manner, in the sense, they either copy stuff from board in their notebooks or are asked to simply read (without understanding). An attempt from the teacher’s side to understand them is not generally made. I say so, coz this attempt is often made by interacting with them. Giving them a channel to freely express themselves and their doubts. “No question is stupid.” I learnt this lesson much later in life. And yet, one should learn to ask intelligent questions. That would happen only when you know how much you already know. And what more you would want to know.

So on my first day, in the rowdy 7th class, all the children were responding to my questions, shouting mostly incorrect answers and making lot of noise. I declared a rule, the first rule of the class, that you have to raise a hand to speak. You may say whatever you want to, but only after raising a hand. After reminding this 2-3 times, I said, the upper bound of breaking the rule is 5 times. Any more than that, and you would have to stand in the corner of the class. Most of the students started following the rule, barring 2-3 expections.

There was this child who would just never raise his hand, not once did he raised his hand. So I said, now you would have to go to the corner. He said, no i won’t go. So I asked the class to interfere. I asked them – whether or not he should be punished, raise your hands if you think he should be. Half the class raised their hands. There were these 2-3 kids who had half raised their hands. Finally, one of them spoke up. He siad – we are afraid of him, he beats us after the class. he belongs to the other gang and we are in different group. So we can’t raise our hands.

It was really funny. And I didn’t know how to respond to that. Justice in classroom is very difficult to achieve. And I don’t like being in the powerful position.

something nice

The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the
arena; whose face is marred by sweat and blood; who
strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and
again because there is no effort without error and
shortcoming; who knows the great enthusiasms, the
great devotion, spends himself in a worthy cause; who
at best knows in the end the triumph of high
achievement; and who at worst, if he fails, at least
fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall
never be with those cold and timid souls who have
never tasted victory or defeat.”

-Theodore Roosevelt (American 26th US President
(1901-09), 1858